When I am asked how the grief caused by losing someone you love changes over time, I suggest that unfortunately the grief journey is not linear and there are no reliable mileposts to help guide you along the way. Grief is not something you get over or even through, as I’ve heard people say. In my experience, grief is something you learn to carry. It will always be with you in … [Read more...]
Hope … on the way to Faith?
I’m often asked if I believe in the afterlife. Perhaps because I’ve lost a child, which many believe is the worst possible thing that can happen to a person, my opinion on the subject carries a little extra weight. Or perhaps the asker is simply seeking a pebble of “proof” to add to their own ponderings on what happens after death. Or maybe it’s just plain curiosity. I … [Read more...]
The Looming ‘Empty Nest’ – Someday They’ll Be Gone
My oldest daughter, Sarah, is in Japan this summer embarking on an adventure with her boyfriend, which could become a forever thing. She moved back “home” when Emma died, slipping into the basement apartment just as my youngest son, Ben, was moving out to live with his then girlfriend, now wife, Alex. In a very real way, we have never been “empty-nesters” until now. Although … [Read more...]
When you lose a loved one, take a cue from the Moon Jelly
NPR had a spot recently – “Instead Of Replacing Missing Body Parts, Moon Jellies Recycle” – and I’m thinking there’s a lesson in the #MoonJelly. I often reflect on one of the early things my husband said after losing Emma. He likened it to a major amputation. You’ll always yearn for the part you’ve lost and you’ll always remember what life was like before you lost it. But you … [Read more...]
Thinking about Joe Biden on Father’s Day
My youngest child Emma died July 8, 2011, at 19 years of age. She wasn’t sick, she wasn’t doing any of the stupid things that teenagers sometimes do, she wasn’t hit by a drunk driver or a stray bullet. She went to bed one night and simply didn’t wake up the next day. For quite a while, I was certain that this loss that happened to me is the worst thing that ever happened to … [Read more...]